Friday, May 31, 2013

Tears of Inspired, Undiluted Joy - A Dream Series [1/3]

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a dream that makes you cry in your sleep from the overpowering beauty and joy. The colors are vivid and vibrant, as if you’re living your own dream in high definition. Scents surround you as you feel the wind blow through your hair, enough to raise goosebumps on the back of your neck…

I had such a dream series early this morning, after fitful hours of tossing and turning, trying to sleep. I was the same person in each, yet would switch back and forth between first-person view and third-person view, perhaps as if I were inhabiting a free spirit instead of actually being her.
Wow, how deep did that sound?
I don’t know if it’s my upcoming (meaning: one day soon, hopefully) trip to Spain, or being inspired by my friend Callea (who is currently walking The Camino), but I felt as if this dream series took place in Spain somewhere, up in the old, wise mountains covered in lush landscaping. There was richness to it all, something that still resonates with me 4 hours later. The air simmered with greenness that was almost palpable, and each color carried emotion.
My first dream started, as my dreams usually do, in the middle. I was on a mountaintop, with the snow just starting to melt. Dark emerald green grass was beginning to thrive, overcoming the icy whiteness which had covered it for over a month. There was complete silence other than the wind making the trees whisper. I turned a corner in the path to discover a tiny cross assembled from broken tree branches; it had been tucked away beside a few knee-high bushes. This aged monument was only about a foot high and could easily have been missed if the eyes had been focused elsewhere.
My hands brushed away the snow covering a plastic bag. Inside was a pair of rubber-soled boots with a scrawled note on a map corner, “If you need me.”
There was not a soul in sight, and hadn’t been for miles. It was just me and my walking stick. And the occasional stare from wandering amber eyes and tawny fur.
I rummaged through my small pack, bringing out a handful of granola bars in a small plastic bag. I attached this to the bush nearby with a simple smiley face drawn on a scrap of Cheerios box I had randomly stuck in a pocket.
The dream seemed to fast forward, sort of like a movie montage. There was quiet music and sweeping views of far-off mountains.
A woman with long, blonde hair wearing a faux-fur-lined hooded coat placed items near this cross. She disappeared, and a man walked up to the site, fully bearded in a wild mountain-man kind of way. His gray eyes betrayed the wild exterior, however, and his soul could easily be seen swirling inside. These eyes scanned the growing pile, rather like a Christmas tree. There was a mutual joy in the selfless giving of items to wanderers who needed them.
As if true to the holiday spirit, the woman walked up to the “tree” one morning to find an open, festively-wrapped package. Inside was a plastic CD case with a note hidden within.
“I don’t know who you are, but I feel as if I do.”
Smiling, I wrote underneath. “We never really know anyone. We are lucky if we know ourselves.”
I tucked the paper into the CD case, and assembled the wrapping paper back around the case using a bit of green ribbon. The slender package slipped neatly into a space between a travel parka and the plastic bag with the boots. I noticed that the wool sweater had disappeared, and I hoped that its new owner was safe and warm.
The blonde woman turned her head east, still smiling, and took her first steps onward to a new destination. The gray eyes watched her go, knowing that their paths would meet again.

Parts 2 and 3 coming soon. Part 2 is the best part. ;-)

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Friday, May 17, 2013

Stuck. Blocked. Creative words elude me...

I know a blog is meant for us to express ourselves, to be an outlet for all that churns in our systems, our souls.



Weeks ago, I was writing stories and poems and blog entries by the dozens. Every day, sometimes two or three times a day. I think we all go through this, though, and I'm learning to be patient with myself.

There's stuff going on here that is taking all of my concentration. On the upside of that, I have accepted a full-time position on my favorite oncology unit, and look forward to getting started in a few weeks after our residency is over. I'm also scared to death about being on my own as a nurse, but I know that I'm blessed to have a TEAM behind me on my new unit, and I'll never truly be alone.

I hope you all are well, and that you're unstuck. If you do get stuck, remember it's only temporary. Live for today and the moment.


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