Sunday, August 14, 2011

30 Days of Shamelessness - Day Two

Continuing on our merry path from the challenge of Jen O.'s 30 Days of Shamelessness, we are told to tell a story about a time where we were made to look a fool.

Well, after trying to narrow it down to just one, I remembered a story from when I was a kid. I guess there is a two-fer here, because my Dad and I looked like idiots that day.

I was probably about 8 or 9. Dad worked for a rather large company here in town, and they had annual Summer picnics down by the water. Growing up, we didn't have a lot of junk food in the house (including soda), so I was all excited about getting to have a root beer. It was a Dad's Root Beer. I still remember the can. Do they even make that anymore? Yes, evidently they do.

This scene occurred:

Me: Dad, can I have a root beer? Please? Pleaseeeeeeee????

Dad: Yeah, I guess so, since your mother isn't here. [Side note: Dad and I often do a lot of things when "Mom's not looking." Like let the bunny into the house to hop around.]

Me: Gee, thanks, Daddy!!! (skips off to dig through the cooler)

(Two frozen hands later, I triumphantly bring back a root beer)

Me: Okay, Daddy, I can't open it.

Dad: (involved in conversation with co-worker) Well, maybe we should get the bubbles out first before you drink it. I think if we stir it up a lot, that will help us.

Me: (innocently shakes the living hell out of the can and hands it to my beloved Daddy)

Dad: (opens up can, which explodes in a shower of root beer foam like never before witnessed on this planet) DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell did you do?!

(Co-worker has streaked away to escape the sudden rainstorm.)

Me: (tearfully) I shook it to get the bubbles out!

Dad: (trying very hard to maintain composure, covered in dripping brown sugar-water) It's okay, honey. I meant that we should stir it when it's already opened.

Me: Oh.

(Crowd disperses.)

My poor, sticky father. He has been very patient with me all these years.


  1. HAHAHAHA devious! Very devious!

    I gave my dad a beer I had dropped once. But mine was on purpose, cause he was drunk and being annoying. I was a vindictive little shit when I was a kid.

  2. I can shake 2-liters and open them very slowly, and let the air out without the explosion. It just take a very long time.

  3. That's awesome, Anonymous. I don't have the patience. Plus, the s'plosion would be pretty cool.