January's theme is "Energy", as shown in a button over on the right sidebar, there. This is such an awesome theme for me - writing about energy can often bring about internal energy which brings about external energy which brings about insane amounts of wonderfulness! (*gasps for air*)
Here I go. Because I'm already late on this challenge, I'm going to combine three prompts into one. Where do I get my energy, what takes up the majority of my energy, and what I do when I'm sapped of that energy.
(p.s. NaBloPoMo is short for National Blog Posting Month. It's also hard for me to write that without writing "Na-noo Na-noo." I guess I watched too much "Mork & Mindy" as a kid.)
I suppose that I was one of those people who would drag themselves out of bed and look like this until I had my coffee:
Then we all have those days where it is a struggle to get up. It's a struggle to write. It's a struggle to leave the house not looking like a mop that got caught in a hurricane. During those times, I look inward for energy. I pray to my Higher Power. I make myself go. Once I'm going, I'm pretty good. It's just taking that first step, right? Right. I also get my energy from family, from friends, and from these two furballs that remind me I am awesome, at least to them.
Right now, jobhunting takes up the majority of my energy. It's a full-time job, looking for full-time jobs. I spend hours a day on this little laptop, scouring the world for nurse positions, applying over and over until I reach the point I have my entire resume and job history memorized. My e-mail box is filled with "We appreciate the time you took to apply to _______, however we have moved forward with candidates that are more qualified." It's increasingly energy-sapping to receive those rejections, although I have become accustomed to it.
I am grateful for friends that are supportive, although I'm sure it's difficult for them to watch me struggle as they celebrate their new jobs. I am grateful for my family and "The Man", who continually try to boost me up with consoling words as I reach for the Kleenex once again. I am grateful for this blog, and the others I participate in, because it's an enormous emotional outlet to be able to express this internal spaghetti-fest.
On those days that seem impossible, where I huddle under blankets until noon, or have a difficult patient load (I still work as a nursing assistant), or my family is hurting, I pray for guidance. I pray for energy and strength to get me through that moment, that hour, that day. I clutch the cross that belonged to my grandmother, or an amethyst crystal, or even one of my cats, and allow the universe to refill my empty chasm.
|I also go here, in my mind, between physical visits.|
This year, I started a Kindness Jar, which I have since renamed the Blessings Jar. It's a very simple clear jar that I tied a green ribbon around - the green, for me, signifies simplicity and grace. Every day I put in a small note about something I am grateful for that day. Today's note was that it was a beautiful sunny day. It doesn't have to be prolific, it doesn't have to be deep. Just a blessing.
Blessings and energy go hand-in-hand, I believe, and this encounter with the NaBloPoMo challenge is a blessing in itself. I hope you will enjoy my Journey among the energy path this month!