Tuesday, January 22, 2013


[Note: The following is fiction.]

Morphine makes me weightless, airborne. Vicodin makes me mellow and fluffy. Meth makes me intense and focused. Even the nitrous oxide at the dentist’s office makes me feel all floaty. I dig that ringing in my ears.

Everything is hollow, hollow. My idiot boss found me with my momma’s pills in the back cooler. I got canned. I have no money. My blood feels like it’s on fire now.  I need. Need, need, need.

I need it, dammit. I don’t know what I need, but I need it.

My legs aren’t attached right now. I need something in me to make my legs attached. People say “upper”, “downer”… it’s all the same. It’s all an upper when you have it. 

That kid keeps screaming over there. Even these pills don’t drown anything out. No matter how many I take, they don’t work. Momma’s gonna flip the hell out when she finds out I got fired. Again. Even these crappy jobs – I can’t keep ‘em. I only work for money to buy my next hit. Maybe I can call Grandma and ask her for my birthday money early. She’s gettin’ old. Maybe she won’t remember she just mailed me some cash.

My head itches. My knees itch. My skin is crawling. Squirming.  I want to run my body over those things in the driveways that’ll pop your tires if you run over ‘em wrong. 

I wish this would stop. I don’t even remember what the hell I did to get all needy and stuff. Oh, yeah, I went to that stupid party last year. That chick with the orange hair put something on my tongue. It was nasty, bitter and sweet all at once. It felt like I’d shoved a spoon of powdered sugar in my mouth. I don’t remember much more than that – just all the lights were brighter than normal and…

I don’t even know how long it’s been since I had more than these pills. Even the pills are gone, now.
My friend isn’t home. I know he always forgets to lock the back door, so I sneak in and go upstairs. I know his momma uses some stuff – she’s always got red eyes when I go over. I knock over a bunch of stuff on accident lookin’ through the bathroom cabinet. The smell of cheap perfume hits me in the face and I want to puke.

I don’t know what this stuff is – the pills aren’t like anything I’ve seen and I don’t know the name. They’re pills, though, and in the orange bottle, anything is possible. I take about six of them because they’re tiny.

Tiny ain’t gonna hurt me none. I pop in a couple more and chew ‘em up. The bitter goodness makes my cheeks numb. Before I even get down the stairs, I’m feelin’ good. These are gooooodddd… I say the word out loud because I feel my lips gettin’ all fat.

I almost prance outside, but my legs feel like stumps, like those big ol’ tree stumps we dug out of our yard last summer when it was eight-hundred degrees outside. Life is sweet, oh yes it is.

That car is comin’ awful fast…

Master Class
 Roxanne’s choice of opening sentence for this week’s class promises to generate some more creative and off-the-wall writing. She chose Kelle Groom’s book I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl whose opening line is: "Morphine makes me weightless, airborne."

[Disclaimer: I have no personal knowledge of heavy drug use, other than what I have seen in the medical field as well as the behaviors of friends in years past.]

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  1. A good attempt at portraying a drug addict. Prescription pill addiction is a serious thing and all too common. Well done.

  2. Thank you, Eric. I don't have the full idea of what it's like to be on the inside of the body of a drug addict, only what I've seen and heard.

  3. I liked the descriptive tone you used, and I enjoyed the "voice" you used for your character - very real.

  4. I liked the tone of the entire piece. And the ending was unexpected and almost heartbreaking as an outside observer.

    I don't have a past with drug use, but I think you did a good job getting inside his head.

  5. The very best drug in the world that I've ever had was Versed, right before they wheeled me off for surgery. For a couple of minutes, all was right with the world. And that is pretty much the extent of my drug use, but I think you nailed that inner voice so well. Always an itch to be scratched...

  6. I like the voice of this character - very real - from what I've read. Can't say I have any real experience, thank heaven. I think you captured well that serious need of the addict. Well done!

  7. For someone without first hand experience I think you really nailed the voice. That frantic need for something, anything, and knowing exactly how different drugs work and wanting all or any of them at once. Really poignant and sad.

  8. You really did nail the sensations of withdrawal. this is really well written and the ending is the perfect (and sad) twist to the dangers of addiction.

  9. I am so very sorry, everyone. My comments haven't been posting. I thank all of you for your awesome compliments on a very hard post to read.